Grant- 2.5 years old!

Dear Grant,

I know it is silly to celebrate half birthdays, but today you are 2.5 years old and unlike your first and second birthdays- you are home!   So perhaps a cupcake and a blog post are in order.  Well, and our 3 month post placement visit with the social worker that is scheduled for today.

I can't believe you have been home 3 months.  Sometimes it feels like a blink of an eye and sometimes it feels like you've been here the whole time.  We have seemed to conquer our last big transition of Mommy going back to work and you going to school 3 days a week.  You still rather not go but you don't put up a fight anymore when going.  You seem to really like the caregivers and I now pick you up with a big smile on your face instead of a cry of relief that I'm back.  So that is all good stuff and makes a working Mommy's heart feel better.  

Every week I'm so thankful that we still get to spend Mondays and Fridays together.  With starting school came some regressive (tantrums and aggressive) behavior at home.  Sometimes we saw sides of you we haven't seen since Korea.  This of course makes me sad but it's all within the norm of toddler adoption and I'm just glad we have our Mondays and Fridays to keep working on attachment and bonding.   

All the changes in your life the past 5 months, I can't imagine how scary it all is for you and I know sometimes we expect too much from you.   It's hard when we see you regress but we are learning what battles aren't worth fighting when something is upsetting you.  We are doing our best, please be patient with us as we be patient with you. Although we will not give up eating vegetables at dinner, that one you can't get out of my dear- as it turns out, you really don't mind many of them after the tantrum!

You and Auden are so different but make the most beautiful brothers.  He is highly sensitive, mindful, and a rule follower.  You are easily excitable, obstinate and not a rule-follower.  I say that with the most love for you both!  Auden has always sat quietly in the car and just enjoyed looking out the window at your age.  You never stop talking in the car, or for that matter anywhere!  Your observations astound me, you notice and remember things that not even most adults would.   You and Auden do share the similarity of being silly, adventurous and a bit of daredevils!  Although sometimes I see it is definitely Auden that brings out your adventurous side because you always want to do what your big brother does.  Whether it be the zipline in Korea, the rope swing in our woods, jumping off a boat or zooming on your bike down steep hills- you are always next to Auden saying "I try now!"   And Auden loves having you as a partner in crime.  As different as your personalities may be, you know how to have fun together.  As much as Auden brings out your adventurous side, you have brought out something special in Auden.  He is so happy being a big brother and having you as a playmate.  He thinks (and tells you every day while squeezing your face) that you are the cutest little boy in the whole world and you guys share lots of hugs and kisses.  You have always been affectionate with him since day one but now we are seeing Auden being the initiator of lots of affection.  Of course there is the normal fighting over toys but the laughter you two share everyday greatly outweighs it.   We feel so fortunate that your relationship has grown so well so quickly which is not normally the case in toddler adoption. 

It will be interesting to see what the next 3 months bring now that we are finally in our routine of work and school.  Knock on wood, you are waking less times a night this past week and this weekend was really smooth and void of tantrums.  You are still asking for food ALL day long which I understand is a control issue with adopted toddlers but it definitely makes sitting down for proper meals more difficult.  You love American food and don't seem to miss rice three times a day at all!

So what is Grant up to these days?

- You are speaking in sentences now.  They are definitely not crystal clear but usually Mommy knows what you are saying.  Either way, for 3 months home and 2.5 yrs old- this is amazing!  

- You are so fast on your balance bike Mommy can't even keep up running next to you anymore!  However you still act like a winded old man when we encourage you to run more then 10 feet, (which is hilarious).  

- You now know and can identify most of your colors.  You can almost count to 10 skipping a few numbers:-). We are know working on letters which you know a few of.  You love singing the alphabet song but do it best with a little help from Mommy.

- You are still Mr. Independent in many respects, you like to have a say over what pjs and clothes you wear, which is definitely new for me because Auden certainly didn't care when he was 2!  But as you have come to trust us you do ask for help now if you are having trouble putting on your shoes, etc.

- You squeal with excitement and a scream over little things that make us laugh.  Like when spaghetti gets placed in front of you at a restaurant or when I say we can go outside and ride bikes.  You don't know what this Halloween thing is coming up but you squeal every time you see your pirate costume in your closet and I say you are going to get candy when trick-or-treating! 

- You love making people laugh.  You picked the microphone for your DOL ceremony on your first birthday and that couldn't be more true- you are an entertainer!  

- You are warming up to dogs being in a close proximity to you but still don't want them touching you and will jump into my arms if they get too close for comfort.  Cats are still a huge problem for you and you want nothing to do with them!  Good thing you're my child since I'm allergic:-)

-Mommy made your "life book" before I went back to work and we look at it from time to time to show you the pictures your wonderful foster mom gave us of your first two years.  I can tell it makes you nervous right now and you are confused by looking at it.  We say we love "Omma Moon" and you repeat it but it is clear you are looking for affirmation that you don't have to go back to Korea. This only makes sense because Omma used to show you our pictures all the time and eventually we came and got you.  I know in a year or two you will be asking lots of questions (based on my adoption friends experiences) and I'm glad I have your the book and the pictures Mrs. Moon gave us along with the amazing 50 short videos that I cherish the most.  Every day you like to talk about the people in our family, that this is our "home" and whose bedroom is whose.  This makes me happy and sad at the same time because again, you are just looking for reassurance that everything is going to stay this way.

Adoption is the saddest and most beautiful thing intertwined into one.  For us to have gained you as our son your birth mother had to experience the loss of a child.  I look at you and the thought of you living in an orphanage brings tears to my eyes and I can't believe that is the fate of the majority of South Korean children that need homes with the new law they passed.  But as much as we love you, we know there will always be a hole in your heart, where questions of your birthparents, identity and culture will be.  We will always be there to help in whatever way we can with those issues.  We love you fiercely already and hope that your heart will be as content as possible as a part of our family that you make more beautiful. 

Tia Jody and Uncle Tom Visit & Pumpkin Farm

Tia Jody and Uncle Tom came from Colorado to visit last weekend and we had a great time!  It was beautiful weather and we went to the pumpkin farm that had lots of fun stuff for the boys to do.  The boys loved having them around as extra playmates:-)  Grant was still asking about them 3 days after they left, wish they lived closer!  Thanks for coming guys!  



 

Grant starts school and Baptism celebration

Two weeks ago I started weaning Grant into his Montessori Preschool that he'll go to until he can go to Auden's school in June.  I started with just 2 hours the first week (3 days), then 4 hours the second week, now it's my last week of maternity leave and I'm having him stay until after naptime.  He was really excited to start because he wanted to be just like Auden and go to "school."  Then when he realized it meant a different school and Mommy had to leave it definitely got bad come drop-off time.  By the second week he was begging me in the car all the way from Auden's school to his school to "go home!, "ride bike," "hungry, eat food," with tears.  It was heart-breaking but they said after the second day he started to have a lot of fun while he was there and was happy. 

This week he isn't even asking to go home on the way to school and isn't even crying at drop-off anymore!  He did object to taking a nap there and got a little teary eyed when I told him but so far he is making great progress.  I'm just so thankful he got to see Auden's routine for several weeks of dropping him off and picking him up at school so I don't think he had any fear in his mind that Mommy wouldn't come back.  Abandonment is always in the back of adopted toddlers heads so everything we do, we have to be very mindful of that fear.  It will be nice to go back to work next week and get back to our "real normal" but it is definitely going to be tough 3 days a week getting two kids off to schools in opposite directions (45 mins total), getting in a full 8-9 hour work day, and then getting back in time for pick-up at both schools.  It will be so nice when they can go to the same school next summer before Auden starts Kindergarten. 

 

Last weekend we celebrated Grant's baptism!  Both of my brothers met Grant for the first time and we had a great weekend with family.  Grant looked like a little angel in his white outfit his Godmother (Mommy's best friend Aimee) got him.  Since he was a 2 year old, sitting still and being quiet in church was definitely not his strong suit but we got through it and he cracked us up.  He said "Hi" and "Thank You" to the Priest when he made the sign of the cross on him and he said "more wawa!" after the Priest poured water on his head.  He is the biggest ham and loves to be an entertainer. 

 

 

Godparents Uncle John and Aunt Aimee

 

Great-Grandmom and Grandparents

Cousins!

 

Godmommy and Grant

 

Cake Time!

 

Fun with family!

 

 

 

2 Months home and Chuseok pictures

Chuseok is Korean Thanksgiving and one  of the major holidays celebrated in Korea.  It takes place over several days and is a time for family, honoring elders and ancestors, good food and traditional clothing.  This year it was celebrated Sept 7-9th.  I would love to say we made a great Korean meal to celebrate but unfortunately despite the pictures Auden had a bad virus and I was focusing on making him feel better so he didn't miss his second week of school.  

The love between these two is just awesome.  Grant still asks to go get Auden (calls him "Audey") from school 4 times a day and Auden's teachers still tell me he talks about Grant all day.  Auden calls Grant either "Granty boy" or "little fella," it's hilarious and I'm not sure where he picked up these phrases that make him sound 80 yrs old, ha.  Their love melts my heart.  I can't wait until they can go to school together. 

This week marks finally being home as long as we were in Korea- 8 weeks!   It may sound like a silly milestone but it feels like we've been home so long and have done so much with Grant that we couldn't believe we were in Korea for that long!  

Auden Goes Back to School- PRE-K!

The day after Labor Day my big boy went back to his preschool for his last year!  He was so excited to go back and see all his friends and we were so happy to hear he got the teacher we wanted.  He wanted to take weekly Spanish and Tumbling classes again in addition to music class they have several mornings a week.  And they have the best playground with a secret garden.  No wonder why he came home and said he didn't miss Grant or Mommy (wipe tear!)! 

Little brother had to get in on the picture taking action as always!

 

 

Beyond ready to go in!

 

His classroom with awesome Ms. Nicole

I had to do a "look back" comparison picture!  Look how much his face has changed in one year!  He is definitely not a toddler anymore:(  What a difference a year makes at these young ages!

 

 

 

I'm going to miss my Auden!  What a treasured time it has been to have him with me every day since we left for Korea in mid-May.  Being a working mom he's been in school almost full-time his whole life so these months were so precious.  He is such an amazing kid with such a kind heart.  Besides us getting frustrated with his lack of listening to instructions (having to say put on your shoes, go potty, five times, etc) and noticing some regression (baby talk, copying Grant) he has done so well with the adjustment of the whirlwind of getting a 2 year old brother overnight.  He randomly says things like "Mommy, I wish Grant was in this picture with us" when pointing to a picture from last spring.  And last night he said  before bed "I thought I was never going to get a brother and that made me so sad."  Even though he said he didn't miss his brother after the first day of school, his teacher told us he talked about Grant and Korea all day long.  That made Cody and I smile:-)  And poor Grant has been saying "Auden School?" about 30 times all day long the last 3 days- he obviously is missing his big brother tons and isn't as eager to play outside and in the playroom by himself without him. 

 

Now I have one more month of maternity leave that I must savor with Grant!  It will be very nice to have the one-on-one time with him.  The plan is to wean him into daycare slowly starting in mid-September which I'm already dreading!  I just want to somehow explain to him that I am his Mommy forever and he will never be "abandoned" again.  I think he is already learning by dropping Auden off at school and picking him up everyday that "school" is not a permanent place.  But I know it's not going to be easy no matter what.  Until then, we are just going to have lots of fun:-) 




 

 

 

Goodbye Summer!

The last week of the summer with both my boys was a great one as we spent every day at the pool because we finally got some hot days where they wouldn't complain that the water was "too cold."  In fact, Auden surprised the heck out of us by wanting to take the swim test so he could go off the diving board.  He only swam a full 25 meter lap with me in front of him coaxing him along once the week prior, so I was shocked that he was determined to do it again by himself.  His first two tries he only made it half way down the lane and then stopped for a rest.  But he didn't get frustrated like he normally does when he can't do something, he was determined!  Without barely catching his breath he wanted to do it again.  I told him this would be his third and final attempt because he was obviously getting tired.  We clarified that he was allowed to dive in (which gave him a good start) and I was allowed to be at the end of the pool cheering him on which gave him a lot more motivation to get there.  And, just like that- he did it!  Then there was part two of the test- he had to tread water in the diving well for 2 minutes.  That was easy compared to swimming a lap, I just told him to keep doing twirls/swimming around in the middle.  And just like that- he passed the test and the lifeguard gave him a special bracelet that showed he was allowed to go on the diving board!  The lifeguard told him it was pretty special because not too many 4 year olds get it:-)  He loved that bracelet so much and was so excited for his first jump off the board!  I kept telling him that I was proud of him for passing the test but even MORE proud that he didn't get frustrated when he couldn't do it the first two times and stayed determined to try it again and again.  I took lots of videos of his first jumps but no still shots so these pics are from the videos and not too good of quality, whoops!

 

 

And here is a video of his cannonball that he ended with the first day:-)

Then we were off the Finger Lakes again for Cody's cousin's wedding!  The weather was a lot better than two weeks ago and we got a lot more boat time in the sun thankfully.  The wedding was beautiful and was up on a hill overlooking the lake.  Aunt Jody and Uncle Tom got to meet Grant for the first time and it was great having fun on the lake after the wedding with them so they could get to know their new nephew. 

 

Since no kids were allowed at the wedding I was the babysitter but the boys and I had fun at the pool and exploring the golf course.  Nana relieved me for 1.5 hours to watch the boys which was Grant's first babysitting experience.  Unfortunately he didn't do that great, eventually stopped crying and played a bit but we were greeted with huge tears and hugs when we walked in the door.  So, needless to say this gets me even more anxious for him to start daycare soon, ugh!  Cody and I had a great time being childless for the first time since two kiddos though, ha:-) 

 

Here are some pictures of our fun long weekend that ended the summer.  And what a summer it was!

 

 

 

 

Rain couldn't stop us...it was still warm so felt pretty good:-) 

 

 

Wedding hotel pool- my crazy jumping bean!