Two weeks home

Tomorrow will be two weeks home, time is flying by!  Grant is really hitting his stride at home with only a few hiccups here and there:-)  I've had a lot of people tell me they miss all my blog updates, thanks for all the support and interest everyone!  I will try to do a post once a week as Grant is settling into his new home. 

Unfortunately we had to miss Cody's extended family annual reunion vacation last week because we just got home from Korea and we knew he wasn't in a state to meet 30 family members in a huge Outerbanks house.  So since Cody had his flex day on Friday we decided to take a day trip and check out a local beach on the Chesapeake Bay to give Grant his first time at the beach!  We went to a small beach called Breezy Point and had a really great time.  It wasn't crowded since it was a Friday and Grant loved the sand and water.  It only had little waves so Auden got over his fear of them quickly (he's always been timid with waves since he is used to the finger lakes).  It definitely wasn't the cleanest of water as you can tell from the pictures but it had a cool little fence to keep the jelly fish and seaweed away in the swimming area which was nice for kids. 

 

On Saturday Grant took part in his first wine night with our neighbors.  Well, it's wine night for the adults and movie night for the kids in the basement:-)  He really has taken to all the kids in the cul-de-sac mostly because they are older girls that are smitten with him:-)  He definitely has sharing issues with kids his own age but loves the older kids, ha.  We gave all our neighbors their presents from Korea, silly socks that are sold in every street market.  They were a hit! 

 

 

                                      

  

 

 

On Sunday, Cody's parents were passing through town on the way home from the family vacation and Grant got to meet his Pappy for the first time and see Nana again.  They had the 4-wheeler with them so of course it called for a joy ride around the neighborhood and in our yard.  Grant LOVED it and didn't want to get out.  Grant, per usual, took to Pappy and gave him kisses goodbye since he always favors men over women.  Nana wasn't so lucky but she got some playtime with him and understands that it's just going to take time.  I feel bad that both our grandparents aren't around the corner so Grant can't warm up to them quickly.  Unfortunately since we only see them about once every 1-2 months it's just going take more time together before Grant can form a good bond with both sets of grandparents. 

 



 

And I can't forget about my big boy Auden!  On Friday night after we came back from the beach we finally convinced him to try his old bike without training wheels!  We knew he could do it for the last 5 months because he was so good on his balance Skuut bike and was just being a little lazy saying he didn't feel like pedaling, ha.  Well, he got on and after 2 minutes of Cody's hand on him he said he could do it by himself and was off!  He was doing circles around me in the cul-de-sac within 10 minutes.  We are so proud of him:-)  Now we are trying to figure out if he can wait for Santa to get him a bigger bike because he looks a little silly on a bike we got when he was 2.5 years old, ha 

 

 

Grant and Auden still know how to push each others buttons but honestly the fighting has gotten 75% better than when we were in Korea in a small apartment!  Between running errands, pool time, the swingset and all the toys in the house they are doing great with each other and sometimes even have fun together.  Grant still doesn't watch any TV so he still just harasses Auden while he watches cartoons:-) 

 

 

Snacks in the fort!

 

Not too sure about the double swing



But loves the tire swing!

 

 

 

 Always morning snuggles for Auden whether he wants them or not!  Grant is SO loveable!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

One week home!

 

It's been one week since we arrived back in the country!  It feels SOOOO good to be home!  The jet lag was definitely worse for Cody and I than the boys, they bounced back to a regular sleeping schedule pretty quickly in part because we did a good job of keeping them up by playing outside that first day until 7pm.  Cody and I are finally getting back to normal. 

First, I should say that our neighbors are amazing and we came back to a house full of presents, balloons, signs, a beautiful picture frame of one of our professional pictures, and a stocked fridge and home cooked meals.  We are overwhelmed by everyone's generosity and once again feel that we hit the neighborhood jackpot.  Grant loved spending time with all the kids in the caul-de-sac. 

                                          
 

Grandpa and Grammy were nice enough to come our first weekend home to help with Auden and all the yard work that needed to be done.  The front landscaping became a jungle while we were gone and it took a lot of work to get it back to looking good.  Grant was still out of sorts and a little whiney but overall did pretty good for his first weekend home and meeting so many new people.  Since he is fully attached to us from our lengthy stay in Korea we have no qualms about him meeting family and friends we just ask that people still respect his personal space.  He is still weary of most women but happily gives men hive fives and fist bumps:-)






Grant loved his first ride in the car seat and the jeep- I think the pictures below speak for themselves!  We lucked out in this department since he does have some weird fears, e.g. not just real animals but some stuffed animals. 

                               

 

Daddy went back to work on Monday and I've been an honorary stay-at-home mom for the past three days.  Grant definitely asked where "Appa" was about 30 times on Monday then would repeat the word "work."  He has now already gotten used to the fact that he returns in the evening.  He has been such a good boy for me the past three days, I hope it isn't a fluke.  He enjoys running errands, and we've hit up a park, been playing outside and going to the pool every day.  It's a little tricky when the boys want to go different directions in the pool but I've been able to manage.  Grant has the puddle jumper floatation device on so I really just have to focus on my Auden who thinks he is a better swimmer than he actually is:-)  Despite the diversity of the town we live in I already got one bizarre comment from a white man in his 70s in the grocery store.  I said excuse me as I tried to get by him and his wife and he bent over to look in the kid car attached to the front of the cart and he said "oh, one is white and one is brown."  I was walking passed him when he said it already so I just ignored it and kept walking.  I know it is just the beginning and people typically won't say things to be rude rather mostly out of curiosity.  I guess I better start having my canned responses ready when necessary. 

                                   

                                

                                            

 

Right now Cody and I are alternating sleeping next to Grant's toddler bed on an aerobed.  And since we got home he is actually preferring Mommy to put him to bed and sleep next to him than Cody which is crazy and huge in his attachment to me.  The first few nights he was waking a lot and he just needs reassurance that we are next to him.  Every night he wakes less and less and now it typically is just once at 4:30am.  He just needs some rubbing on the back and then he will go back to sleep until 7:00am.  So, all in all, he is doing great in his new bed and room and I'm really glad we started him off in there instead of our room which will lessen another transition.  I bet soon he will be constantly sleeping through the night and we won't have to sleep next to him any longer.  He was very happy and surprised to see that we got him a Pororo stuffed animal from Korea.  We saved it to give it to him at home.  I love him all snuggled up to the cute little penguin:-)     

                                           

I don't doubt that we are doing so well one week out because of we spent 6 weeks together in Korea.  We feel very fortunate that besides some normal clinginess around the house he is doing so wonderfully and having so much fun in his new home and the suburbs! 

                                        

Visa in hand, goodbye Korea!

We left the U.S. embassy today with Grant's visa in hand!  This is the face of a boy who just got his visa and can finally go home:-)  We've been trying to get him excited for airplanes and show him videos about them and "fly" around the apartment... but everyone cross your fingers he doesn't freak out on the plane, haha.  

I can't believe this is our last night in Korea.  I'm not going to lie, some days it felt like it was never going to come!  On one hand, we laughed at ourselves for complaining- after all, we are using our sick leave and getting paid to live in Seoul while we have housekeepers, a buffet breakfast every morning and our ONLY job is to parent our two boys and have fun.  But on the other hand, this was no vacation and we were trapped here once we took custody of Grant and were at the mercy of the Korean Court and had no idea when we could come home- that is a very scary thing.  Not to mention, it's not easy to be "on vacation" for two months in one of the largest cities in the world with two small children.  We were very fortunate that we were here during good weather when we could be outside everyday and could find water activities.  That obviously played a role in our decision to stay for one trip.  Cody did a great job finding ways to get us out and tire the boys out every day but it was not easy and definitely felt like a job in and of itself. 

We know that we will likely never ever get to spend two months together again as a family with no work and no school.  We appreciate and know how rare it is to be able to do that with successful careers.  But on the other hand- two "stay-at-home" parents every day is pretty intense and we are definitely sick of hearing our own voices constantly telling two young boys what they should or shouldn't be doing.  I'm pretty sure Cody is counting down the hours until he goes to work on Monday and shuts the door behind him and hears silence:-) 

Now for the good stuff.  Grant, when you see this blog in the future, I hope these posts from our time in Korea show you how absolutely amazing your birth country is and how much fun we have had here.  Sure this blog is for friends and family to keep tabs on us, but it's mostly for you.  We never intended spending two months in Korea but that is how it worked out and we already have no regrets about choosing to do one trip.  We feel like we really have seen and gotten to known Seoul in an intimate way.  We have learned so much about your birth culture and what it means to be Korean.  We've been to parks that hardly any tourists visit, public pools, spend our weekends on the river in our tent with all the other Korean families, we've gotten to know our way around the city and how to navigate the subway system, seen the fish markets, hiked the mountains and the list goes on.  And more importantly, during the last two months we have felt what it is like to be a minority.  An important lesson for anyone but especially for a family of transracial adoption.  Korea, even Seoul, is a very homogeneous society and Caucasians definitely stick out when you are not in the few tourist trap spots.  This comes with constant stares and looks (friendly and curious, but still there) and Auden got the worst of it with all the picture taking and the older generation giving him pats on the head and trying to talk to him a lot on the subway.  Even though we were treated just fine, some days, you just missed blending into the crowd.  It made me appreciate even more that we are bringing you home to a fairly diverse county with a large Korean population.  I'm not saying we will ever know what it is like to be you, my son, but at least we got a small glimpse.

When we get on that plane tomorrow, we are leaving behind your birthplace, your wonderful foster family and your birth parents.  The gravity of that is not lost on me.  We promise to come back to Korea when you are older.  We promise to keep in touch with your foster family as long as possible.  We promise to help you find your birth parents when you grow-up if that is what you want.  We are forever grateful to your foster family for raising you the first 2 years of your life and your birth parents for giving you life.

We will miss our time in Korea and always hold it dear to our hearts but it is time to get you home and settled!

                                      

                                      

 

To end on a lighter note, before we mix up Grant's world again and he regresses a little, here is a random top 10 list of silly little Grant mannerisms that we will look back on and laugh about from our time in Korea.

1) Every morning we get dressed and go down to the breakfast buffet in the restaurant on the Lobby floor.  Yet still, six weeks later, Grant gets off of the elevator and walks to the revolving doors to go outside instead of into the restaurant and we have to correct his direction.  (He knows better, he just rather go outside than eat breakfast!)  This makes it feel like the movie "Groundhog Day" every day. 

2) There are lots of statues around the palaces and city that look like various lion type creatures.  When Grant sees one he says "raaaaarrrr" and put his hands up like claws.  Cody did it so much with him that now he just yells it to greet Cody whenever he has come back from an errand.  It's quite the greeting and is so funny.

3) I've been walking several miles a day with Grant on my back.  This is the time he is the most chill and when we practice so many words.  He is like a little parrot on my back through the city and he points out and repeats "bus," "car," "taxi," "choo choo," "fishy," "chicken," "up, up, up," "down," etc.  Now that we won't be living in the city anymore, especially one with live fish on the sidewalk and fried chicken everywhere, we will need to practice words in different ways:-) 

4) Grant learned about "cheers" with drinks and is obsessed with it.  The kid wants to "cheers" anything that's the same- ice cream cones with Auden, plates at dinner with me, toy cars- you name it, he will give you a hardy "cheers!" several times a day.

5) Grant knows all of Mommy's silly songs that I make up for daily chores.  In the morning he starts to sing the tune to "Turn Auden's bed into a couch, bed into a couch, do-do-do-do-do do-do, his bed into a couch" and he starts to push the cushions back to make the couch.  He knows the song I made up for when he pees in the potty, which he does about 2 times a day now!  And he loves the "clean up" song so much (the one everyone knows, not a mommy original) that he makes messes just to sing the song while he is cleaning up.

6) He has figured out his older brother has a short fuse so he takes toys out of his hand, not to play with them rather just to see Auden freak out, then promptly gives them right back.  It's cruel but makes me giggle instead.  I hope it teaches Auden to chill a little bit, ha.

7) His favorite thing in the world is waking Auden up if he takes a nap or in the morning.  He will kiss, squeeze, poke and stroke him.  Auden is less than thrilled to wake up this way:-) 

8) I'm sure (and hope) this will continue in the U.S. but every night as I lay next to Grant to get him to fall asleep he does 15 minutes of loudly singing and practicing words.  You will hear the tune of "Old McDonald Had A Farm," then "no, no, no" "I don't know," "bye-bye pee pee," "car," "taxi," "down," "banana," all mixed in with Korean babble and songs.  It is hilarious and you would have no idea he is ready to go to bed the way he belts it out.  Then suddenly, he stops and is asleep.  I really should record it because soon he will sadly lose the Korean parts and it's so cute.

9) Since we have no high chair here it is less than ideal to get Grant to stay seated at the table when we are eating.  When he is finished eating he quickly says "all done" while shaking his hands doing the sign for it, then leaps out of his chair and runs away before I can wipe his face and hands.  He laughs so hard and looks behind him because he knows this is going to get me to jump up and chase him down before he touches anything.

10) He will disappear for a second and come back into the room with his bathing suit on, usually over his shorts and the little raft on him already and says "pool? pool? pool?" with a big grin and nodding his head up and down.  How can you say "no" to that? 

Signing off from Korea!  Can't wait to see you all on the other side of the world soon! 

Oh, and the blog will continue- I just can't  promise the frequency of the posts:-). 

Final Days in Korea

 

At the end of this week Cody found another great public pool for us to go to and we made sure to go on a weekday and not a weekend this time.  It was awesome with a water playground and a lazy river!  Korea's public pools along the waterfront are really amazing considering how cheap they are and that they are only open in July and August.  We had a great time because it wasn't too crowded so we could watch the boys easily and have fun.  Swim caps were required again so you get some funny pictures of the boys, not me, ha.

 

 

 

Cody getting dumped on and Grant watching the slides

 

Auden coming down!

 

Weeeeeeee!!!

You get some Auden "cheeks" here:-) 

 

Look how much fun Grant is having in the lazy river!  He could really enjoy it with his arm floaties!  The rest of us didn't feel like buying rafts for it but still had fun floating down it.

Of course the mandatory 15 minute break times every hour give kids a chance to ask for ice cream.  I'm beginning to think the breaks are so you will be forced to buy stuff:-)  

 

Last night we had celebratory ice cream on the roof in honor of our final approval and it being Megan's family's last night in Korea.  It's funny to get so close to "strangers" in such a short time because we are all going through the same thing and now we have to say goodbye as they live on the other side of the country.  Luckily we can keep up with each other over facebook:-)  And Danielle and Jamie's little boy, Ian, is doing better every day that they've had custody and he made it onto the roof for a little bit:-)  They will be leaving about a week after us so we can still hang out for our last few days.  We are so lucky to have had these families at our hotel during the majority of our stay- made everything so much more bearable to have others to talk to and play with.  Oh, and check out Grant's awesome photo bomb of me taking a picture of Ian's family. 

 

 Today we went to a Palace that is actually the closest to the hotel right near City Hall but we've yet to check it out.  It was very beautiful so I'm glad we went.  Grant always wants what Auden has and that's including the stroller.  So when he got down from my back he didn't like how Auden was still getting strolled.  Auden was a good big brother and let him ride his lap and they actually had a lot of fun.  The picture below on the right you can see Cody pushing the boys in the distance.  The "spaceship" like building in the background is city hall.  Cool mix of the modern vs. old in the picture.  The history here compared to the United States is just unfathomable.  Some art work at the museums date back to the 3rd century and before.  Our country is just a "baby" in comparison.  Cody and I joke that we wouldn't want to be a child in school in Korea because we can't imagine what their history books start with- the 2nd century?  Crazy.