The biggest hurdle was him attaching to me and letting me into his heart. It's painful to remember but the first week or so I was getting screeched at for even smiling at him, getting slapped in the face and getting things thrown at me. My mind knew he is just 2 yrs old and in his world I just replaced his Omma but words can't express how much his behavior towards me hurt my heart. And it was hard for Cody because he was getting loved on so much but hated how he was treating me. Then we progressed to tolerating me but not wanting to show me affection. Our Mommy and Grant alone time helped and he would start to show me affection when Cody wasn't around (but ask where he was a lot). This past week brought another breakthrough and now he openly kisses and hugs me many times during the day, even in Cody's presence! What actually seemed to help is hanging out with other families and Moms, he hugs and kisses me in front of them and shows them I belong to him. He is finally letting me in and it feels amazing. He is such a loving child and I will get random kisses on my back when he is in the carrier or he will kiss my arm when we are reading a book or give me 20 kisses in a row when we are snuggling for bedtime. Don't get me wrong, he is still a Daddy's boy and when "Appa" walks into the room he runs into his arms and roars with excitement. But he has let me into his heart and that is all that matters!
In general, his sleeping has been pretty good in light of knowing that is the hardest time for most adopted toddlers and when their grieving comes through. He used to cry out several times during the night in his sleep but it wouldn't last long and rubbing his back and turning on the classical music he likes helped. Every week it's been getting better and we've had a lot of nights that he's slept straight through from 9:30pm-8:00am. And a huge accomplishment that we didn't even plan on tackling in Korea was getting rid of his nighttime bottle after brushing his teeth since his teeth are in poor condition from it. One night Grant bit through his nipple and broke it so we gave him the sippy cup instead and he was fine with it to our surprise. Then this week we had him drink all his milk before he laid down for bed, brushed his teeth, and then gave him the cup back with water in it to lay with and he really didn't seem to care. It was so easy it made us sad that his foster mom let him go to sleep with a bottle and caused him cavities and dental pain already. I'm just glad we nipped it in the bud and hopefully he won't need a lot more dental work when we come home.
His first weeks with us, he used to wake up in the morning, look around, then get sad and put his head back down. You knew his mind was thinking "oh man, I'm still with these people!" But now he wakes up in the morning, has a groggy smile and promptly wants to jump on whoever is still sleeping- Cody or Auden. This makes me smile and makes me believe that he is loving us as much as we are loving him now.
His first weeks with us, he used to wake up in the morning, look around, then get sad and put his head back down. You knew his mind was thinking "oh man, I'm still with these people!" But now he wakes up in the morning, has a groggy smile and promptly wants to jump on whoever is still sleeping- Cody or Auden. This makes me smile and makes me believe that he is loving us as much as we are loving him now.
His behavior has been a lot better with fewer tantrums because he understands us so well now. He is no longer hitting and rarely throws toys when he is upset. Just the "normal" sibling yelling and pulling toys. His comprehension of English is remarkable and says over 30 words and adds a few more every day. We are still having "power struggles"- for example, saying "no" to eating 2-3 bananas in a row for lunch or if you want yogurt you have to sit at the table and wear a bib. We let him have his tantrum but we don't give in and he comes around and is realizing we are the bosses, not him. Some of it is normal 2 yr old stuff but some of it is definitely that he is not used to hearing the word "no" and is used to getting his way which is the norm for Korean toddlers.
The dynamic between him and Auden is at times comical. There is definitely some jealousy that is at play. If I'm snuggling with Auden, Grant will always want in on the action. If Cody did a fun trick with Grant, Auden will want to be next. All normal and to be expected. Grant fits the role of little brother perfectly now and already knows exactly how to pester Auden when he's busy doing something. And Auden is taking on his role of big brother now and learning how to tease Grant with the best of them:-) There has definitely been some regressing as far as Auden's behavior goes, especially in the way of table manners and listening to us when giving instructions. But once again, to be expected. He is being a rockstar enjoying living in Korea for so long and totally understands how cool it is that we don't have to work and he doesn't have to go to school and instead we get to go on "adventures" every day.
We've realized that 2 yr olds love to show you their new skills while 4 yr olds already know these skills and rather do something else. Which is how we have the situation of Grant being able to dress himself faster than Auden and listens to us the first time when we say "go put your shoes on." Which brings me to- wow, it's so hard to be a stay at home parent to multiple children! Cody and I are getting sick of hearing our own voices repeating instructions and breaking up matches of who gets what toy/electronic device at the moment. Hopefully all this will be a lot better the remainder of my maternity leave at home when the boys have a lot more toys to play with and things to do outside!
We are so happy that Grant is doing so wonderful right now but we are totally getting ready for things to get rocky again when we get on that plane and mix up his world. I'm sure he will be scared that we are leaving him and some of the nighttime grieving will surely come back. Especially because Cody needs to go back to work a few days after we get home and he is so used to Appa being around all day long to play. Right now he thinks we have people cook breakfast for us and clean our apartment every day and have a pool in our basement. So, he is definitely in for an adjustment when we get home. But I'm glad the attachment and bonding has already been formed the past month and hopefully that should help a lot with homecoming. This week we are just trying to enjoy our last full week in Korea (God willing!) with Grant doing so great. Please pray that we hear of final approval on Friday like we are suppose to!!!! Then we can get outta of here after we get his visa early next week.
We can't wait for you to all meet him! He is such a joyful, silly and affectionate boy that loves to sing, dance and do anything to make the people he loves laugh. He loves to roughhouse with Appa and copies everything Auden does. He is so smart and amazes us every day with new words and skills. We know you all will love him as much as we do and can't wait to get home next week!
We've realized that 2 yr olds love to show you their new skills while 4 yr olds already know these skills and rather do something else. Which is how we have the situation of Grant being able to dress himself faster than Auden and listens to us the first time when we say "go put your shoes on." Which brings me to- wow, it's so hard to be a stay at home parent to multiple children! Cody and I are getting sick of hearing our own voices repeating instructions and breaking up matches of who gets what toy/electronic device at the moment. Hopefully all this will be a lot better the remainder of my maternity leave at home when the boys have a lot more toys to play with and things to do outside!
We are so happy that Grant is doing so wonderful right now but we are totally getting ready for things to get rocky again when we get on that plane and mix up his world. I'm sure he will be scared that we are leaving him and some of the nighttime grieving will surely come back. Especially because Cody needs to go back to work a few days after we get home and he is so used to Appa being around all day long to play. Right now he thinks we have people cook breakfast for us and clean our apartment every day and have a pool in our basement. So, he is definitely in for an adjustment when we get home. But I'm glad the attachment and bonding has already been formed the past month and hopefully that should help a lot with homecoming. This week we are just trying to enjoy our last full week in Korea (God willing!) with Grant doing so great. Please pray that we hear of final approval on Friday like we are suppose to!!!! Then we can get outta of here after we get his visa early next week.
We can't wait for you to all meet him! He is such a joyful, silly and affectionate boy that loves to sing, dance and do anything to make the people he loves laugh. He loves to roughhouse with Appa and copies everything Auden does. He is so smart and amazes us every day with new words and skills. We know you all will love him as much as we do and can't wait to get home next week!
Selfie time with Omma
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