Auden's 5th Birthday!

Happy 5th Birthday to Auden Henry!  Wow, did this last year fly by!  I'll admit that most of 2014 was dominated by gaining a new member of our family, but boy, has Auden really stepped up to the plate this year.  Of course, there is the normal brothers fighting over toys but Auden has proved himself to be the best big brother and exceeded our expectations.  It's not easy for a 4 year old to have a 2 year old tornado come onto his turf and all of a sudden everything that was his, he now has to share, especially Mommy and Daddy's attention.  But he has done it with so much grace for a boy his age.  We are so proud of him and everything he teaches his little brother like sharing, being nice and not aggression.  I am in the middle of a big project of making a adoption journey video for Grant that I also wanted to make a video for Auden's 5th birthday.  Unfortunately, it's too big to put directly on the blog but the You Tube link is here: http://youtu.be/TIt20byDbCg.  It came out great and Auden really loved seeing his journey.  I was inspired to make it when he asked me once when I was working on the 3rd little album/picture story for Grant- "Mommy, do I have a story too?"  Oh yes, my darling Auden, you certainly have a story and have come a long way from the 3 pound little boy in the NICU that struggled to eat his first year to the handsome young man you have grown into.  We are so proud of you and your story. 

This year the birthday boy wanted his party at Sport Bounce that has a lot of cool bouncy houses, slides and a trampoline.  He had an awesome time with his friends from school and neighbors.  He wanted a transformer theme so we got transformer decorations, cake and "pin the shield" on the transformer game which provided for a lot of good laughs.  Grammy and Grandpop were able to bring cousin Reegan since her parents couldn't come and she and Auden got to have a great sleepover on Valentine's Day night.

 

It became a snowy Valentine's Day evening.  Grammy and Grandpa were nice enough to babysit so Cody and I could grab dinner and then we came home and took the kids in the hot tub.  What a fun birthday for Auden!

5TH BIRTHDAY INTERVIEW

 

Here is the "interview" I started with Auden last year on his birthday.

1) What is your favorite toy?  transformers and legos

2) What is your favorite food?  baked beans

3) What is your favorite thing to do/play outside? ride his bike (2 wheeler since age 4.5!) 

4) What is your favorite TV show? The Cat in the Hat Knows A Lot About That

5) What is your favorite color? yellow and green

6) Who is your best friend? Jai & Aiden from school and cousin Reegan:-) 

7) What do you want to be when you grow up? bear hunter like Pappy and bathroom remodeler like Daddy (I think we need to teach him the difference between hobbies and careers, haha).  So then for a "real" career he says he wants to be a chemist and invent new types/flavors of foods and drinks which he learned about on Sid the Science Kid, of course:-)  Oh, always throws in a Daddy too!

Auden just got a great mid-year progress report from school- he got "above average" (#1s) in every category.  We were very proud of him!  His science teacher even said that Auden is a wealth of knowledge and frequently even teaches the class things.  This does not surprise us because the only shows we let Auden watch typically are PBS educational shows like Sid the Science Kid, The Cat in the Hat, Wild Kratts and he absorbs so much from these shows and loves science!  We love his teacher this year and her only "negative" comment is that they are working with him on not getting so frustrated when he makes mistakes while doing activities like writing, coloring, using scissors.  He's a bit of a perfectionist and is too hard on himself.  We've been trying to help him in this area at home the past year so it's nice to know his teacher is helping as well. 

He is working on lower case letters in school currently and can write his name very well in lower case now (see below!). He's reading the beginner BOB books with words like, mat, sat, cat, dog, rag, tag, rug, dot, got, on, and, etc.  It's so fun to watch him sound out and figure out the words.  Can't believe he'll be starting Kindergarten in the fall, but he'll be ready!

Valentine's for his class!  He looked off of his class list and worked really hard on writing his classmates names on the back of cards- they never have enough room on the front, haha.

Six months home from Korea

January 17th marked six months since we got off that big blue Korean Air plane.  It's an important milestone because it means in the state of VA we can finally file for a petition for final adoption (which just crosses our Ts and dots our Is in the U.S.) and we can file for Grant's name to be officially changed since legally right now he still has his Korean name.  Then we can get him a VA birth certificate, social security card and passport all in his new name.  So, then that's last of the paperwork! 

Six months home also meant Grant's foster mother was finally allowed to contact us via e-mail.  She emailed us almost to the day.  I was so happy to finally hear from her but her letter was heartbreaking.  She said that the family missed him so much and they couldn't bring themselves to foster another baby.  They decided Grant would be their last.  They said their house felt so empty without him and the only thing that got them through is to know he is growing up with wonderful parents and a brother.  She asked if we could send pictures via email instead of through the agency which I promptly did.  I wish I could have given her a hug through the computer.  I really thought she was going to foster again and it breaks my heart to know she's been waiting six months to email and has been missing Grant so terribly much.  I will keep sending her pictures and I hope she keeps in touch.  I would love to see her again when we go back to Korea one day.  Grant may not remember much of his first two years of his life but I hope he realizes through all the pictures and videos we have that his foster family loved him deeply. 

I'm not going to lie, this past week was a rough one.  Cody and I did a two night getaway last weekend to celebrate Cody starting a new job this week.  Nana and Pappy were here to babysit and the boys had a great time.  Grant was a little sappy in the beginning but they kept the boys busy and overall it sounded like he did great for the first time we've both been away from him overnight (Auden around always helps him feel comfortable).  Unfortunately, things came to a screeching halt in the sleeping department as soon as we got back.  Trauma and grieving most typically comes through the subconscious during sleep.  So while he was his regular self during the day, after 2am he has been crying in his sleep often and even had a night terror in the beginning of the week.  It is just unfortunate because he was doing so awesome in his new big boy bed and sleeping through the night the past two months and not even coming into our room to lay on the little cot.  Now he's regressed to nighttime grieving which he hasn't done since the first week we've been home six months ago.  It's exhausting, heartbreaking and I feel so bad that us leaving for two nights is still making him cry in his sleep.  I'm surprised it's lasted almost a week and I really hope it doesn't last too much longer.

Since right now it feels like we took a major step back, I feel like it will be beneficial to see how far Grant has come in the past six months.

1) He used to hit, push and throw toys- now he is only aggressive if another child hits/pushes him first typically.  He controls his actions very well and we rarely have to do "time-ins" right now.

2) He used to be unable to sit through even 3 pages of an age appropriate book- now he enjoys reading bedtime stories and we read two books together with both boys every night and he sits still and listens.

3) He used to not be able to watch any TV(couldn't sit still)- now we are up to being able to watch 15 minutes of a show, as long as it has trains or music, ha. 

4) He was terrified of water when we first met him- now he loves going in the hot tub and taking a bath every night. 

5) He used to refuse to eat any vegetables and we'd have to do a "song and dance" every night to make him eat a few so he could get yogurt or applesauce for "dessert"- now he knows the rules and he eats a few spoonful's of veggies without tantrums or fuss.

5) He used to dislike haircuts and wiggle a lot during them- now he sits still as long as he is on my lap and is very patient with the hairdresser. 

6) We used to have to sit in his room/then outside his door until he felt asleep- now we can leave after snuggles, songs and saying goodnight. 

7) He used to only want to color /use crayons for one minute- now he loves showing me how well he can trace shapes and letters and draw circles.  He can even trace his name which is awesome and more advanced than Auden at his age!

8) He used to be terrified of most stuffed animals (except the dog he's had since he was little) and he couldn't even go near Auden's bed without screaming about the animals- now he likes them all and is even sleeping with three stuffed animals a neighbor gave us.  Still scared of real dogs and cats, but one step at a time! 

9) He used to be a disaster at breakfast every morning in the hotel restaurant in Korea, he couldn't sit in his seat for five minutes- now we can go to a quick place like Chipotle and he will do great or a regular restaurant where we can get booth seating and he does very well for an hour long dinner. 

10) He used to see other kids his age as "the enemy" and had trouble getting along with our little neighbor his age- now he is able to play appropriately with peers his age (has learned sharing and taking turns).  Of course, like any 2 year old sometimes there is still fighting over things:-) 

*These aren't comparisons but Grant can now:
- Speak in complete sentences with pronouns, prepositions, etc.  Getting clearer every month.
- Can recognize and say all his letters in the alphabet and is learning the sounds they make now
- Can count to 10, sometimes even 20
- Can trace shapes and letters
- Potty trained since November and doesn't even need M&Ms as bribery anymore!

 So, even if we are dealing with a set back in sleeping right now, we have to remember how far he has come!   We are very proud of our little Grant even if we are very sleep deprived right now:-)