July 1st will mark one year from the day we got our home study approved and officially got on the wait list to be matched with a Korean baby girl. Since we haven’t been matched yet, it means that we had to update many clearances and documents with the agency (you know, since we haven't been busy enough). We also had to meet with our social worker again because she had to check out our new house. I have to admit, doing the paperwork was not easy since Cody and I are losing hope with the program. It is hard not to wonder if we are doing it all for nothing. The current news in the program is that a bunch of referrals (children to be matched with) are suppose to come in late July and start coming regularly thereafter, but that is what they told us in May and nothing happened. So we are definitely not holding our breathe any longer. At this rate, I think it will be a miracle if we are matched by the end of the year.
Our plan was to give the Korean program until the end of the year and then pull out so we could pursue domestic if the referrals still weren’t coming in. At our meeting with the social worker this week, I planned on asking if we could at least have them write our domestic home study so we didn’t have to start all the paperwork over with another agency. I wasn’t sure they could do this because our agency doesn’t have a domestic program on the East Coast, only in their Mid-West office.
Good news #1- it turns out they can write a domestic home study for us (for a fee of course) and it requires NO more additional paperwork/clearances because the requirements for international surpass domestic. So, we’ve done everything already, it is just a matter of the social worker writing it up! No more paperwork for Courtney = awesome news!
Good news #2- I was under the impression that we could not pursue domestic until we pulled out of the Korea program because we signed papers saying we would not actively try to get pregnant or actively try to adopt a baby through other means. However, thanks to Cody’s prodding, that is not the case at all! They just don’t want you to sign with another agency. We are absolutely allowed to pursue private domestic adoption on our own (with the attorney we met with) while still waiting on the Korea girl list! They only make you get off the Korea girl list after a child has been placed in your home and the birth parents rights have been terminated! So, we can pursue both at the same time!
We were in shock. Our social worker is writing up our domestic home study as we speak. We can essentially begin looking for a birth mother as soon as we get our approval next week! However, with domestic you have to be ready for a baby at any point. Yes, it could take 2 years but it could also take 2 weeks. So, it is in our best interest to not start advertising until we are ready for a baby. I’m not sure we are quite there just yet as I am still on the mend from orthopedic surgery, we are still getting the new house in order and getting Auden adjusted to his new school. So, we will spend the next few months working on a website for birth moms to view and figuring out our advertising tactics. We are going to start local- advertise on bulletin boards at community centers, colleges, hospitals, doctor’s offices as well as run ads in newspapers. We don’t want to expand to websites like www.parentprofiles.com yet (even though they have the best success rate) because it would be too hard for us to hop on a plane and go meet a birth mom across the country on a moment’s notice. We may get to that point, but for now, since we are remaining on the Korea list, we just think it makes sense to advertise locally first.
There is a big piece of me that still wants Korea to work out so badly. But right now it feels right to have other options. I trust that there is a plan for us and whatever is meant to be, will be.
