EP Submission!!!!!

Finally, the news we have been waiting for!  Today Grant's file was submitted to the Korean government for emigration permission (EP)!  We are overjoyed to have this news before the holidays and feel so thankful and relieved!  To know that his paperwork is officially getting processed by the government for permission to be able to leave South Korea and become a part of our family is the best Christmas present ever!!! 

So, what happens next?  Here are the estimates:

4-8 weeks for his EP approval from the government
1-4 weeks for his file to get submitted to the Korean family Court
2-4 weeks to get a Court date
4-6 weeks later- travel to Korea!

Our agency is still estimating us to be traveling to Korea in April.  Hoping dearly before Grant's 2nd birthday on April 20th which happens to fall on Easter Sunday in 2014:-)  I like the sounds of spending Easter in Seoul with ALL my boys! 

And we have now decided it is time to tell Auden about his little brother!  Cody and I are SO excited to finally share the news with him!     

Hopeful!

So, still no news yet regarding Grant's file being submitted to the government but I'm feeling hopeful it will happen soon.  My agency updated us all yesterday that they are are still planning on two more submission batches in the month of December.  This was corroborated with a blog article written by an independent organization that promotes adoption within Korea (and internationally).  It was said that the government agency (MOHW) plans on taking more submissions in December and they plan to only take a break of a week or so when they relocate to the other city the week of December 15th.  So hearing that there are going to be more submissions the month of December from two sources is definitely making us hopeful we could get news soon.  Also, the news that the MOHW doesn't plan to take a huge long break for their relocation is wonderful to hear as well.   

Another thing that made me hopeful is that last night I had the pleasure of meeting my friend's son that just came home from Korea two weeks ago.  To see Henry, amazing and adorable little Henry, was a great boost to know that in several months Grant too will come home.  After over 3 years, this journey will finally end with our new son in our arms.  Auden played so nicely with Henry and warmed my heart to envision Auden playing with Grant the same way (you know, until he sticks around and then the brotherly fighting begins, ha).  I was so impressed with how well Henry was doing only home two weeks.  He has formed a great attachment with his new parents, smiles and laughs a lot, is trying to repeat so many words, and has been pretty easy going for them all around.  I hope we can say the same with Grant 5-6 months from now!  I feel so fortunate that I have made several local friends that are all in the process of bringing home their little Korean cuties.  What a wonderful playgroup Grant will have with boys that share his Korean culture and adoption background.

Here are some pictures of Auden and Henry playing:

                        

 

 

Meeting Henry was also very good for Auden in the respect that we are "planting the seed" of what adoption means and how Henry came from the country of Korea.  So hopefully it will easier when the time comes to explain how Grant is becoming his brother.  Luckily his favorite show is Dinosaur Train right now and the whole premise of that show is how a pteranodon family adopted a t-rex baby, so that is helping with the concept of adoption too!   

Update and Care Package #11

 Last week there were more submissions to the government, however, our file was not one of them.  It was a great disappointment to learn that our family, along with 4 others that I'm aware of, were basically skipped over as we learned they submitted files that had later referral acceptance dates as ours.  I had a long talk with the Korea program director on Wednesday morning and got to vent my frustrations.  She is equally as frustrated with the Korean partner agency as I am that they are not submitting files in order despite her asking them to do so several times.  So she was very apologetic for that.  She called Korea for us on Tuesday night and found out everything is all set with Grant's file and they are just waiting for the next submission group.  She was very sorry it wasn't in the group last week and can't tell me why they choose the files they did.  The Korean partner agency plans to have two submission groups in the month of December to take care of all the rest of the files they have prepped for this year.  My director is hoping that we hear good news the first week in December regarding our submission.  So, fingers crossed.

In better news, on the back end of this process the Ministry has been diligently approving files and many families have been getting court dates faster than ever before lately.  They added a fifth judge that is planning to work only on adoption cases, so hopefully that will streamline the court process further.  Even though we are not submitted yet, it is great to see lots of movement on the back end because the more families that get through court, means that much faster our case can get through.  My director thinks based on how things are moving along currently, it is still entirely realistic to plan for traveling in April and making Grant's 2nd birthday.  So that was good to hear.  Of, course that was predicted based on our file getting submitted in December so let's just hope that actually happens like they say it will.

We got 19 month pictures of Grant this past week which was nice given the disappointing news.  I was a little bummed that his foster mom didn't have him dressed in some of the clothes we sent the month prior though.  Oh well.  He was looking like a cutie pie but had the same "deer in the headlights" look from last month pictures, haha.  Hopefully we can get some smiling pictures again soon, I want to see all his teeth:-)   

My friend Erin took Grant's Christmas care package over to Korea 1.5 weeks ago.  I decided it would be better to give it to him for his Nov. 20th visit than Dec. 20th visit so he can enjoy the Christmas goodies longer.  I wrapped up the little toy car and helicopter and pasted my friend's translated letter in a card I sent to Grant's foster family.  

50 days

As of today we've been waiting 50 days for our file to be submitted to the Korean government.  That's about 20 days longer than we expected as families have been typically submitted one month after they were notified their file was being prepared.  The last 20 days have definitely been the hardest on me out of the last year.  It's so difficult when you have expectations of something and are so hopeful and it doesn't come true.  It feels like I've been running a race for the past 3 years and they keep moving the finish line.

I spoke with my agency last week and they said the Ministry is still accepting files and right now the issue seems to be with the Korean partner agency just being backed up with files.  I just hope by the time they are done with our file the Ministry is still accepting them and not shutting down to prepare for their move to another city. 

Anyway, once we are submitted the process takes 5-6 months so we should probably start wrapping our heads around not making it to Korea by Grant's 2nd birthday on April, 20th.  This makes me so sad. 

Auden's teacher asked us to bring in family pictures for this Friday which is "family day."  The kids are going to share and talk about all the people in their family.  I so wish we would have been submitted by now and been able to tell Auden about his brother.  It breaks my heart that Auden can't proudly share with his class that he has a little brother waiting for us in Korea.   

In happier news, my two local friends are in Korea right now awaiting custody of their sons.  Everyday we chat through facebook messaging and I'm getting great information about where to stay, where to eat, places to go with kids, etc.  I'm so happy they will finally be united with their sons and I can't wait to have playdates with them and meet their little guys when they get home.  That will make it feel like one day, eventually, Grant will come home too. 

Referral-versary

Today marks 12 months since we first laid eyes on our precious little Grant.  A year ago today our social worker called us on the way home from our town Halloween parade to say that she had a referral for us!  We pulled over so we could talk to her and hear all about our little guy and then we rushed home so we could see his pictures.  What an unforgettable night.  So it was fitting that yesterday, again on the day of our town Halloween parade, we got Grant's 18 month update.  We have been anxiously awaiting this because agencies stopped updates for the past two months in order to move faster on paperwork to the government and court. 

The picture quality wasn't the best and no smiles this month but he is still as adorable as ever.  He is growing up into such a handsome toddler.  He was wearing matching denim jackets with his fostermom which made us laugh.  He is just about 24lbs which puts him at the 25th percentile, pretty much what Auden's weight was at 18 months.  His height decreased to the 50th percentile, which was a given because we know he isn't going to be tall guy based on his birthparent's stats we have:-)  We got a good progress report too.  He likes to eat cooked rice, yogurt, bananas, steamed eggs and fish.  We may have a rude awakening in the sleep dept. because he already sleeps less than Auden!  The report says he sleeps from 10pm-7am with a one hour nap during the day.  Yikes, Auden has two hours of sleep on him!

Process update- despite the news that the government may be delaying files for their upcoming move, so far nothing has seemed to change yet, thankfully they are still proceeding as they have been.  We are hoping and praying that next week we hear of Grant's EP submission to the government.  The last two months submissions have taken place during the last week of the month, specifically the 29th and 30th.  So, fingers crossed that they predictably do the same thing again this month!  It will be such a relief once we know our paperwork has been submitted to the government and that we have crossed the hurdle of the birth mother re-relinquishment.  Then we can start thinking about telling Auden he has a brother! 

 

Care Package #10

 

 

My dear friend Ronda from my agency will be taking these items when she goes to Korea to pick up her Henry at the end of this month!  She is nice to spare room in her suitcase for two packages so I am able to send Grant a winter coat and some other goodies.  I'm excited to send Auden's old Patagonia coat that his Nana bought for him because it will be nice and warm for Grant since his foster mom does a lot of walking with him in the baby carrier.  In another package I sent Puffs, Yogurt Melts, a coloring book and crayons and a light up bouncy ball.  I also included two small boxes of assorted chocolates for Grant's foster family since I heard Koreans enjoy American chocolate:-)   

 

 

Program update: Some agencies are reporting that the Korean government agency that handles adoptions (Ministry of Health & Welfare) will not be moving offices now until December.  So far, things seem to be moving at the same speed.  Please cross your fingers, pray, knock on wood, etc. that we get the news by the end of this month that our file has been submitted to the Ministry!  

 

Good article about the state of Korean adoption

The following article was featured on the Wall Street Journal website yesterday (written by Steven Borowiec).  It gives a good picture of how the new law backfired on the Korean government and has resulted in the sharp increase of abandoned babies in 2013.  Abandoned babies are NOT eligible for adoption because the birth mother did not sign relinquishment papers.  These babies will be growing up in orphanages which breaks my heart. 

South Korea's 'Baby Boxes'

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Reuters

South Korean pastor Lee Jong-rak adjusts the blanket around an abandoned two-week-old baby boy in a "baby box" at Joosarang church in Seoul on Sept. 18, 2012.

 

SEOUL—When South Korea amended its adoption law in August of last year, it was intended to reduce unregistered adoptions of children overseas.  A year later, it appears to have accomplished that with an unintended side effect: a drastic increase in the number of babies abandoned anonymously by their mothers.

In the first seven months of this year, 152 infants were abandoned in South Korea, up from 62 in the same period of 2012, according to Ministry of Health and Welfare data. The increase has been attributed by some to the new Special Adoption Law, which stipulates that infants can't be put up for adoption without their births being registered with the government. It also requires that mothers remain with their newborns for a minimum of seven days before putting them up for adoption.

Activists for adoptee rights and government officials argue that more transparency was needed in the adoption process and question the causal link between the new law and the rise in abandoned infants.
Large numbers of babies were sent overseas from South Korea for adoption in the wake of the Korean War of the early 1950s, when the country was poor and rebuilding after the disastrous conflict. After the war, the country underwent rapid development but continued to send thousands of children a year abroad for international adoptions through the 2000s.

Part of the reason for the high rate of international adoptions is that domestic adoption is still uncommon in South Korea, where Confucian values make many families reluctant to raise a child from outside their bloodline. It also remains taboo for women to birth or raise children out of wedlock. About 90% of South Korean adoptees are born to unwed mothers. Some abandon their babies rather than face the social discrimination of being an unwed mother in a society that, for all its economic development, is still socially conservative.

In recent years, many abandoned infants have been left at a so-called "baby box" in Seoul, a place where mothers can anonymously leave their newborns for adoption. Pastor Lee Jong-rak operates the baby box in his church in southwest Seoul. On a side alley, mothers can open a letterbox style door, place their baby onto a clean white towel inside, shut the door and press a button to ring a bell that alerts Mr. Lee or one of his staff members to the presence of the baby.

Before the Special Adoption Law was passed, Mr. Lee says the baby box received an average of about two newborns per month. Over the past year, that number has risen to about 19, he says.
Mr. Lee has been operating his own parish for the past 15 years and the baby box since 2009. He was inspired to open it after he was awoken late one cold autumn night by a neighbor who phoned to inform him that a newborn had been abandoned in a cardboard box outside his church. He says the incident opened his eyes to the desperation of young mothers in South Korea and what he says is the need for an option to protect the safety of infants.

Nowadays, Mr. Lee says, there are usually two or three babies at his facility on any given day. He and his team of staff and volunteers provide round-the-clock care for the newborns for two or three days before they are transferred by the police and then to the local district office. The children are taken from there to a hospital for a medical check and then placed in an orphanage.  Mr. Lee, 60, argues that mothers who don't feel able to inform their parents or the government of their children's births need another option. "The law must be changed, because if it isn't, there will only be more abandoned babies," he said.

Proponents of the Special Adoption Law argue that South Korea needed to be brought in line with international adoption standards requiring registration of births. In the past, mothers were able to take their babies directly to adoption agencies without registration. Those children could then be adopted by overseas families with only limited information about their origin and the circumstances of their births.

Jane Jeong Trenka is president of Truth & Reconciliation for the Adoption Community of Korea, one of the driving forces behind the legal revision. She says anonymous adoption compromised the rights of children.  "Children have the right to an identity," she said.

Ms. Jeong Trenka is an adoptee herself, born in South Korea in 1972 and adopted by an American family as an infant. She grew up in the U.S., but as one of very few Asian children in her community, she often felt displaced and unwelcome. She eventually decided to move back to South Korea in her 20s to try to find her birth mother, along with a more complete sense of who she is and where she came from.  The experience led her to dedicate her adult life to advocating for more transparent adoption practices in South Korea.

An objective of the Special Adoption Law was to increase the number of babies who remain with their birthparents, in line with The Hague Convention on Intercountry Adoption. South Korea ratified the convention in May this year. It recommends that babies who can't remain in their birth families be adopted within the country of their birth, and only adopted internationally if that isn't practicable.
The number of South Korean children adopted internationally has been in gradual decline for years, according to the country's Ministry of Health and Welfare. From a peak of 8,680 in 1986, in 2012, 755 children were adopted by overseas families, down from 916 the year before. The ministry is projecting a total of 300 for this year, with the decrease likely attributable to the enactment of the Special Adoption Law.

Lee Hyun-joo, head of the adoption measures team at the ministry, says it is too early to say that there is a direct relationship between the Special Adoption Law and the rise in newborns being abandoned.
"The most important thing is for children to grow up in stable families, so our adoption laws are created with that in mind. According to the new law, as children grow up their rights are more fully guaranteed by law," she said.

David Smolin, director of the Center for Children, Law and Ethics at the Cumberland School of Law in the U.S., says that South Korean society needs a change in its view of unwed mothers and more support for them so that the rights of both families and children can be protected.  "Under the prior system, secrecy was a cover under which the rights of children and original family members—especially unwed mothers—were sacrificed based on other interests," he said.

Ms. Jeong Trenka says that the increase in abandonments isn't due to the law itself, but young mothers' lack of accurate information on the law. She argues that women need to be informed about a process called partial registration, which allows for births to be registered in a document that isn't accessible to anyone but the mother herself.

Once a baby is adopted, the birth is removed from the mother's records, meaning women wouldn't necessarily need to worry about their future husband or parents-in-law finding out about them having given birth.  "It's the misperception of the law that has caused the problems, not the law itself. It's a matter of educating these mothers about how the law really works," Ms. Jeong Trenka said.