Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Care Package #10

 
 
My dear friend Ronda from my agency will be taking these items when she goes to Korea to pick up her Henry at the end of this month!  She is nice to spare room in her suitcase for two packages so I am able to send Grant a winter coat and some other goodies.  I'm excited to send Auden's old Patagonia coat that his Nana bought for him because it will be nice and warm for Grant since his foster mom does a lot of walking with him in the baby carrier.  In another package I sent Puffs, Yogurt Melts, a coloring book and crayons and a light up bouncy ball.  I also included two small boxes of assorted chocolates for Grant's foster family since I heard Koreans enjoy American chocolate:-)   
 
 
Program update: Some agencies are reporting that the Korean government agency that handles adoptions (Ministry of Health & Welfare) will not be moving offices now until December.  So far, things seem to be moving at the same speed.  Please cross your fingers, pray, knock on wood, etc. that we get the news by the end of this month that our file has been submitted to the Ministry!  
 

Good article about the state of Korean adoption

The following article was featured on the Wall Street Journal website yesterday (written by Steven Borowiec).  It gives a good picture of how the new law backfired on the Korean government and has resulted in the sharp increase of abandoned babies in 2013.  Abandoned babies are NOT eligible for adoption because the birth mother did not sign relinquishment papers.  These babies will be growing up in orphanages which breaks my heart. 

South Korea's 'Baby Boxes'

Reuters
South Korean pastor Lee Jong-rak adjusts the blanket around an abandoned two-week-old baby boy in a "baby box" at Joosarang church in Seoul on Sept. 18, 2012.
 
SEOUL—When South Korea amended its adoption law in August of last year, it was intended to reduce unregistered adoptions of children overseas.  A year later, it appears to have accomplished that with an unintended side effect: a drastic increase in the number of babies abandoned anonymously by their mothers.

In the first seven months of this year, 152 infants were abandoned in South Korea, up from 62 in the same period of 2012, according to Ministry of Health and Welfare data. The increase has been attributed by some to the new Special Adoption Law, which stipulates that infants can't be put up for adoption without their births being registered with the government. It also requires that mothers remain with their newborns for a minimum of seven days before putting them up for adoption.

Activists for adoptee rights and government officials argue that more transparency was needed in the adoption process and question the causal link between the new law and the rise in abandoned infants.
Large numbers of babies were sent overseas from South Korea for adoption in the wake of the Korean War of the early 1950s, when the country was poor and rebuilding after the disastrous conflict. After the war, the country underwent rapid development but continued to send thousands of children a year abroad for international adoptions through the 2000s.

Part of the reason for the high rate of international adoptions is that domestic adoption is still uncommon in South Korea, where Confucian values make many families reluctant to raise a child from outside their bloodline. It also remains taboo for women to birth or raise children out of wedlock. About 90% of South Korean adoptees are born to unwed mothers. Some abandon their babies rather than face the social discrimination of being an unwed mother in a society that, for all its economic development, is still socially conservative.

In recent years, many abandoned infants have been left at a so-called "baby box" in Seoul, a place where mothers can anonymously leave their newborns for adoption. Pastor Lee Jong-rak operates the baby box in his church in southwest Seoul. On a side alley, mothers can open a letterbox style door, place their baby onto a clean white towel inside, shut the door and press a button to ring a bell that alerts Mr. Lee or one of his staff members to the presence of the baby.

Before the Special Adoption Law was passed, Mr. Lee says the baby box received an average of about two newborns per month. Over the past year, that number has risen to about 19, he says.
Mr. Lee has been operating his own parish for the past 15 years and the baby box since 2009. He was inspired to open it after he was awoken late one cold autumn night by a neighbor who phoned to inform him that a newborn had been abandoned in a cardboard box outside his church. He says the incident opened his eyes to the desperation of young mothers in South Korea and what he says is the need for an option to protect the safety of infants.

Nowadays, Mr. Lee says, there are usually two or three babies at his facility on any given day. He and his team of staff and volunteers provide round-the-clock care for the newborns for two or three days before they are transferred by the police and then to the local district office. The children are taken from there to a hospital for a medical check and then placed in an orphanage.  Mr. Lee, 60, argues that mothers who don't feel able to inform their parents or the government of their children's births need another option. "The law must be changed, because if it isn't, there will only be more abandoned babies," he said.

Proponents of the Special Adoption Law argue that South Korea needed to be brought in line with international adoption standards requiring registration of births. In the past, mothers were able to take their babies directly to adoption agencies without registration. Those children could then be adopted by overseas families with only limited information about their origin and the circumstances of their births.

Jane Jeong Trenka is president of Truth & Reconciliation for the Adoption Community of Korea, one of the driving forces behind the legal revision. She says anonymous adoption compromised the rights of children.  "Children have the right to an identity," she said.

Ms. Jeong Trenka is an adoptee herself, born in South Korea in 1972 and adopted by an American family as an infant. She grew up in the U.S., but as one of very few Asian children in her community, she often felt displaced and unwelcome. She eventually decided to move back to South Korea in her 20s to try to find her birth mother, along with a more complete sense of who she is and where she came from.  The experience led her to dedicate her adult life to advocating for more transparent adoption practices in South Korea.

An objective of the Special Adoption Law was to increase the number of babies who remain with their birthparents, in line with The Hague Convention on Intercountry Adoption. South Korea ratified the convention in May this year. It recommends that babies who can't remain in their birth families be adopted within the country of their birth, and only adopted internationally if that isn't practicable.
The number of South Korean children adopted internationally has been in gradual decline for years, according to the country's Ministry of Health and Welfare. From a peak of 8,680 in 1986, in 2012, 755 children were adopted by overseas families, down from 916 the year before. The ministry is projecting a total of 300 for this year, with the decrease likely attributable to the enactment of the Special Adoption Law.

Lee Hyun-joo, head of the adoption measures team at the ministry, says it is too early to say that there is a direct relationship between the Special Adoption Law and the rise in newborns being abandoned.
"The most important thing is for children to grow up in stable families, so our adoption laws are created with that in mind. According to the new law, as children grow up their rights are more fully guaranteed by law," she said.

David Smolin, director of the Center for Children, Law and Ethics at the Cumberland School of Law in the U.S., says that South Korean society needs a change in its view of unwed mothers and more support for them so that the rights of both families and children can be protected.  "Under the prior system, secrecy was a cover under which the rights of children and original family members—especially unwed mothers—were sacrificed based on other interests," he said.

Ms. Jeong Trenka says that the increase in abandonments isn't due to the law itself, but young mothers' lack of accurate information on the law. She argues that women need to be informed about a process called partial registration, which allows for births to be registered in a document that isn't accessible to anyone but the mother herself.

Once a baby is adopted, the birth is removed from the mother's records, meaning women wouldn't necessarily need to worry about their future husband or parents-in-law finding out about them having given birth.  "It's the misperception of the law that has caused the problems, not the law itself. It's a matter of educating these mothers about how the law really works," Ms. Jeong Trenka said.

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Some NOT so great news from Korea

Well, that didn't take long, did it?  For 6 days we got to enjoy the news that Grant's file was moving along and likely going to be submitted to the government for an emigration permit shortly.  Unfortunately last evening everyone in the Korea program got a bit of a "bomb" dropped on us that came out of left field.

In short the unfortunate news is:

1) The government agency (Ministry of Health and Welfare) that processes they emigration permits (permission to leave the country) is apparently scheduled to move their office from Seoul to a new city called Sejong City, which is two hours south of Seoul.  The move is expected to take place in November.

2) There are going to be some changes in staff at the Ministry.  The director has been rotated out and others in management positions will be rotated out as well.  Whatever that means.  I mean, rotating staff to me means that nobody can ever get proficient and efficient at their job but apparently this is a regularly occurring thing in Korea within the government and judicial system.

3)  Right after the agency moves to Sejong City, they will be undergoing an "audit." Apparently this happens every year and it takes the workers time away from processing adoptions.

Once again, welcome to the world of international adoption.  Two steps forward, one step back.  While the agencies do not know to what extent this news is going to have on the process they can only predict that we are going to once again see a slowing down of processing adoptions while all this takes place.

So, we had hoped that we would be submitted to the Ministry by the end of next month but now all this could mean that they are not going to accept anymore submissions until after the move or until after the audit, who knows.  So, a March travel date seems a little bit like a pipe dream right now after last night's news.  But as my die hard half glass full husband said, "well, if we travel later than March that just means more time to save up more money and leave time for our trip and warmer weather for the month we are in Korea."

Only time will tell what the effect of all of the above is going to be.  In the meantime, I do my best to remember that Grant is safe, healthy and happy with his foster family right now.  That's all we can ask for when we he can't be with us, his forever family, yet.  

Monday, September 23, 2013

Care Package #9

This month's care package we sent a few big items, it was quite a challenge getting them in a gallon ziplock bag but I did it:-)  Auden and I went to Old Navy last weekend and bought him cute superman and batman long sleeve t-shirts and I had to sneak another superman one in the basket for Grant in a smaller size:-)  Superman is pretty special in the adoption community since the story goes that Clark Kent was adopted at birth.  I also put in the package a pair of Auden's old pants and adidas sneakers.  Unfortunately I can't find Auden's old size 6 sneakers which is probably what size Grant is now so I had to send size 7s.  Hopefully his fostermom can double the socks and still get some use out of them.  We also included an insulated straw sippy cup and some Gerber puffs for Grant to enjoy.  I found another family from my agency to take this care package on their trip to Korea next week so he will get it in time for his October 20th monthly well visit to the the Korean agency. 









Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Great news from Korea!

Today is a very special day. As you all know, for almost a year now we have been patiently waiting in a long line of families to be processed and finally be able to travel to Korea to be united with their child. Little by little, month by month, our file has been slowly moving to the top of the line.

Today we were notified that our file has been requested by Korea to be prepared for submission to the government to get Grant's exit/emigration permit (EP)! So what does this mean exactly? It means that today we enter the first stage of processing to bring Grant home. We filled out some additional paperwork, our file will be translated for the government and Court and the biggest step of all- they will be attempting to contact Grant's birth mother to relinquish her rights for a second time due to the new law. Please think of her and pray for her this month as she has to go through this again.

So, what happens next?  This process is anything but predictable right now and you can breeze through one step just to get hung up for weeks on another step. But right now, this is how the timeline is looking: 

1) File requested to prepare for EP submission (TODAY!): 1-2 months
2) File submitted to the Ministry of Health & Welfare for EP: 2 months
3) Approved for EP, waiting for court date to be set: 1-2 months
4) Notification of court date to arrival in Korea- 1-1.5 months

On average, agencies are telling families from the point we are today it should take 5-6 months until we are in Korea. So, we have our eye on being in Korea in March right now!  It's too hard to predict for sure but every time we get through another stage of the processing we will get a better idea of when!  As long as we are there before Grant turns 2 on April 20th, I will be a happy Mommy.  But March would be even better:-) 

I must say, luck was on our side today! We knew we were on the edge of making the cut-off for this "prep" group they announced based on how big the last two groups have been.  We didn't tell anyone this could be happening soon since we didn't know what way it would go.  Since they base it on the date they received your referral acceptance paperwork (11/7/12 for us), I kept thinking of Cody and I standing in the FedEx store last year and Cody saying he didn't want to pay for overnight shipping!  Lucky for Cody we made this group's cut-off by ONE day, it was 11/8/12, so no overnight shipping was needed, ha.  We were the last family in our agency to make the cut-off.  Sure, we will probably get the shaft at another point in the process the next few months but you have to celebrate the small victories, right?! 

Hang on Grant, Mommy and Daddy are coming for you!

My friend in Arlington recently got her court date in Korea for October 30th and this Saturday night is having a "court date party!"  It will be fun to celebrate our good news with all my Korean adoption Mommy friends this weekend:-) 

Sunday, September 8, 2013

Auden's new classroom- 2013/2014 school year


Last week after a couple day break from school Auden went back to a new class, new teacher and some new students that weren't able to start in the summer like he did.  He is now in the "bee" class with Ms. Michelle.  He loves his new classroom because it is one of the biggest at school so it has room for a train table, pretend kitchen, dress up area, and a nice little story nook.  He misses his best buddy Chase who was in his summer class but they still get to play on the playground a few times a day together.  

One really neat thing about his school is that during the regular school year they offer extra activities that you can sign up for.  We signed up for tumbling/movement class on Wednesday mornings and Spanish class on Monday mornings.  So they will pull him out of his regular class to participate in these special activities.  This takes the pressure off of working parents to sign up for a ton of weekend activities through the county:-)  














I got these cute signs off of Etsy for the first day of each school year.  So I "had" to make Auden pose with it for the start of the official fall school year:-) 

 


Monday, September 2, 2013

backyard wonderland



A few weeks ago we got a new addition to our backyard- a new playset for Auden.  I say the term "new" loosely because we actually got it used off of craigslist and I say "for Auden" loosely because to date the neighbor's kids have used it more than him:-)

Cody had his mind set on the good quality playsets with the brand name Rainbow as they are made from the best wood and have lifetime warranties (he knew it would have to withstand all the neighborhood kids).  However, we certainly didn't want to drop a couple thousand dollars on a new one.  So Cody found one in good condition off of craigslist in a neighboring town for a good price.  The only catch is you have to dissemble and move it yourself.  So, after renting a U haul truck and a bunch of help from the neighborhood dads- we now have a great playset in our backyard! 

We plan to power wash and stain it to get it looking good as new.  Cody also has plans to put an aluminum roof on the fort portion.  Auden loves it and we are confident that it's going to get a lot of use over the next few years with our growing family.