The common misconception about international adoption is that you can just choose any country that sparks your interest. This couldn't be further from the truth. Many times, the country picks you. Meaning, there is such a long list of requirements/rules/standards for each country, you may not qualify for 50% of the countries with current "open" programs, heck, you may not even qualify for the majority of countries. For example, some requirements/restrictions include: no parents over the age of 50, married for at least 3 years, income requirements, cannot be overweight, can have no more than two divorces per couple, level of education requirements and in many countries the use of certain medications (e.g. for anxiety or depression) can even bar you from being able to adopt.
Now luckily Cody and I fit the above mentioned criteria for most countries, but there are travel requirements that very much guided our decision. For example, Costa Rica, Columbia and Ecuador all require a 6-8 week stay in the country before being able to bring your child home and Russia requires two trips for a total of 5 weeks. As you can imagine this is just not feasible for us since we have jobs and a son.
We also only looked at countries that had very well established programs...decades and decades of successful adoptions to the United States. When investing so much emotionally and financially, this seemed to only make sense, why go with a "young" program that is so uncertain and set yourself up for a very bumpy road that may never lead you to your child?
China has a very long history of successful adoptions of baby girls in the United States, however, due to circumstances within the country, currently the wait time for healthy girls is in excess of 5 years...so long that most adoption agencies no long consider it a viable program and strictly deal with the Chinese "waiting children" who consist of older children or babies with minor to major medical needs.
So then there was South Korea. This country appealed to us for many reasons. It is a very large and stable program, our agency has over 40 years experience with the country and it is considered its flagship program. Last year they placed 150 South Korean children in homes. However, it is one of the most expensive programs, but for good reason. Prior to placement, children are cared for in private homes by foster families as opposed to group homes or orphanages. These foster mothers receive training, support and the best medical services to care for the children. And because they are with foster families there is a lot less of a risk of developmental delays that come with the group homes. Also, the South Korean program is very unique in that you are provided with a great deal of medical and family background information because typically unwed mothers spend the last months of their pregnancies in group homes before placing their babies up for adoption. The program only requires that you go to Korea for four days and during that time you meet with the foster mother that has raised the baby for the first 16 months of their lives. Last but not least, the South Korea program lets you choose a girl if you already have a son in the home. However, there is a longer wait time for girls.
Why not domestic you may be wondering? I'll answer that in a future post:-)
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