One year ago...

This time last year we were doing our last minute packing to get on a big blue Korean Air airplane the following day.  Cody and I were checking off every list imaginable, not knowing how long we'd be gone for and Auden was just so excited to be out of school and to be taking a plane to go to Korea and meet his new brother.

We can't help but think about our lives this time last year and what an amazingly terrifying journey we set out on.  We miss our two months in Korea and we think of the good, bad and the ugly.  Luckily, the brain always remembers the good more than anything.  It was such an unbelievable experience that we will never forget.  There is not a week that goes by that Auden doesn't talk about something that he did or saw in Korea and that gives me hope that despite the fact he was only 4 years old, he may be able to hang onto some memories forever (pictures and this blog will help!).  Auden knows how special it was to be all together, as Grant adjusted to our family, finding fun adventures in a foreign land.  We will definitely be having flashbacks over the next two months and I'm sure, without a doubt, Grant will too.  In fact, he already had a weird day on Friday and woke up from a nap inconsolable and unable to use words for ten minutes.  It was scary but I'm sure we will be dealing with a bunch of tramaversary stuff over the next few weeks.  I can't believe how far we have come with our little boy.  It's fair to say he hated my guts as soon as we took custody and now he is such a momma's boy.  Sometimes I have to stop to remember how badly I wished for what I have now when I was sobbing in the bathroom the first week we had custody about this time last year (thank God for Cody to help me cope).  At the time it felt impossible to get thru but time heals most wounds and thankfully we got to the other side quicker than I thought possible.  I love him with all of my being and I know he feels the same for me, his Daddy and Auden.    

Grant never ceases to amaze us and 4 days after his birthday he decided take off the training wheels from his bike and he was just off!  He needed about 5 minutes of help from me before he could master turns and stops.  Now he's doing hills, the bike path to Auden's soccer practices, starting by himself, etc.  I really can't believe he only started riding a "real" outdoor bike only 10 months ago when he came home in July.  His gross motor skills and strong legs are incredible!  He's the youngest kid I ever met that could ride a bike at 36 months and he has no idea how awesome that is, he just wants to ride like big brother and Daddy. 

Look at these strong legs, no hands:)

Has come a long way with teeth brushing and the dentist too!

And what is our big boy up to?  Right now Daddy is Auden's soccer coach for spring soccer.  He enjoys practice but our little man doesn't seem to have that aggressive streak yet when it comes to competitive sports.  It's too soon to tell if that is something that will come later or if that is just his personality:)  It will be interesting and fun to watch as he and Grant grow up what activities they are interested in.  All we want is that they are active and find something they enjoy.  He's been also doing a few swim classes lately to get more comfortable on his back in the water because he sort of  skipped that skill in swimming since he taught himself to swim underwater and tread water at such an early age.  His "reward" from the instructor after the swim session is getting to go off the diving board which he loves.  Usually he just does cannonballs but last night he decided to try to do a dive like the older boy in front of him.  Success! One thing is for sure- he loves and is fearless when it comes to water.  We are looking forward to our swim club opening up this weekend and hopefully Auden can be on the "junior" swim team and enjoy it. 

This is a screen shot from a video so it's blurry.  He can't wait until he's old enough to take diving classes at the Rec Center.  

For Mother's Day Cody had Auden answer these questions.  His answers were so cute.  You know his brother's adoption took too long when he thinks I'm a social worker, ha.  And for the record, I never make him Mac and Cheese- he gets it at Whole Foods:)  

We had a great Mother's Day weekend with Nana and Pappy visiting and we went to a fun kid friendly winery where Auden even got to ride a horse for the first time.

Happy 3rd Birthday Grant!

Dear Grant,

Today you are 3 years old!  And since it's a Monday, Mommy has off from work and we've been having a great time playing on this beautiful day.  It's such a special birthday because it's your first one at home with us.  We had a wonderful weekend celebrating with a BIG party with a ton of family and friends.  You had a blast and everything went off without a hitch, including the most gorgeous weather, an awesome bounce house for entertainment, the Thomas the Train ice cream cake you requested and yummy BonChon Korean fried chicken that was a huge hit with our guests.  It will definitely be an unforgettable one for us, even if you can't remember it in a few years!

Of course on this day I think of the two other mothers in your life.  The one that gave you life, whom I may never get to see or talk to, but who I will be thinking of for the rest of my life.  I hope she finds peace on this day, the day she gave birth to a son she knew she couldn't raise.  I pray one day she finds out how loved and cherished you are.  Tonight, we will light another candle on your piece of cake for her and when you blow it out we will think of her and wish her peace and happiness.  I hope it will be a tradition we can continue for years to come.    

 I'm also thinking of your amazing Omma, who I chatted with this morning on the other side of the world to wish you a very happy birthday!  After finally connecting on KakaoTalk (Korean text message app), we've been chatting every few days for the past two weeks.  I had no idea that she is so proficient in English that we can have written conversations in real time.  It brings me tears of joy that I've been sending her videos and pictures of you almost daily that make her SO happy.  She still thinks about you every day and has wanted to hear your voice for so long, she LOVED the video of you singing your ABCs I sent her last week.  She says your Appa looks at the photo album I sent them every day with a smile and her younger son misses you so much and just turned 17 a few days ago.  I got more pictures of her and your foster family and more information about you as a baby.  We are so blessed you were placed with such an amazing family and I thank God for them every day.  I'm so happy we can be connected with them right now and I hope that when we go back to Korea when you are about 10 years old we can see her again.  

You are a ball full of energy, spunk, laughter, love and some bossiness thrown in for good measure:)  You have taught me to be a better mother almost every day (patience is key).  Your Daddy and I are often astounded at what a bright little boy you are.  You have a steal trap of a memory and it's hard to believe when we talk to you that you've only been hearing and speaking English for 10 months.  We giggle when we get into "arguments" over whether we should go the regular way or turn for the shortcut when we are going places around town because you know where everything is already.  You learn things by observing people very closely, which we aren't sure is a great thing yet, ha.  I'll never forget when we walked out of the grocery store and I turned for one second to put the cart back outside the door and there you were, leaning against the wall pretending to smoke a cigarette like the old lady 4 feet next to you.  Luckily she was on her cell phone and didn't even notice you next to her before I scooped you up and you giggled.  Your laughter is contagious and even though you still take a while to warm up to new people, when they get to know you, they see what a remarkable little boy you are.  Every night at bedtime when we say we love you and goodnight, you recite a long list of everyone you love- "I love Mommy, Daddy, Auden"...(then in no particular order) "I love Grammy, Grandpa, Nana, Pappy" then you'll throw in the Aunts and Uncles and cousins you have seen recently or you have been thinking about.  You know and remember them all, no matter how frequently you get to see them:-)     

Happy 3rd Birthday baby.  We love you with all of our heart and can't wait to see what the next year brings for you!

                                            

  Big party on Saturday!  BIG thanks to all the grandparents that helped out SO SO much for it and big thanks to all our family and friends for celebrating this special day with us!

 

 

 

Easter Fun

The boys had a great Easter.  Grant, as with most holidays so far, doesn't quite get what things are leading up to and this one was no different, ha.  He was very intrigued and curious about the egg dying activity, did not think the neighborhood egg hunt in freezing cold weather was worth it to get some candy, but enjoyed the actual Easter day where he woke up to fun baskets and got to go to church with his family and Grammy and Grandpop who came down for the holiday.

Neighborhood Easter Egg Hunt!  So windy this year!!!

Easter Day is here!  It was hard not to reflect on last Easter.  It fell on Grant's 2nd Birthday and we were still enduring an excruciatingly long-overdue court date to find out when we could travel to Korea.  And here we are one year later- so much happiness!  Thank you God!

Daddy thought it would be funny to give the boys a whoopie cushion, I definitely underestimated the fun little boys can have with it!  And by the way, they self-inflate now!

Auden "sneaking" the cushion under Grandpop, hilarity ensued:-)  

In our Sunday best for Easter church service

As you can see, Grant was on a funny "cheese" smile kick on Easter, haha.  Let's hope his normal smile returns for birthday pictures shortly!

Preschool Spring Show

Auden had his annual spring show for his preschool in March and it was just as cute as last year!  He said he felt more confident and ready to be on stage now that he was a "big kid," haha.  They all looked adorable up on that high school stage and his class sung the song "High Hopes" in which Auden held up the letter "S".  Grant enjoyed the show but definitely was fidgety, it made us wonder what our/his future holds when he is up on stage next year!



Of course I had to take some pre-show sibling pictures when they are looking cute in ties!

I said "do a pose"- this is what I got?!  ha!

Auden's best friends in his class and the best teacher ever- Ms. Nicole!

Grant already doesn't like this "sitting still" thing

Showtime!  So cute!  Of course we bought the DVD like we did last year (in case Grandparents want to see Auden in action!) 

Can't wait for Grant's turn the next two years, we LOVE this school so much!  It is so amazing that the owner of the school is the music teacher that puts the whole show together (with other teachers' help) and is playing the piano the whole show.

The little things

Today was not a special day, yet it was an afternoon that made me smile and want to remember it.  Grant and I picked up Auden early from school and when we got there we found all the kids on the playground.  I let Grant play with the kids for a little bit, Auden from the get-go put his arm around him and led him to the slide as all his classmates were making a fuss over Grant like they do with all the little siblings that come in.  It's so adorable but they crowd Grant and make him feel a bit overwhelmed.  Auden cleared the way so he could go down the slide and then they did the merry-go-round.  Several of Auden's friends did it with them but it got crowded again and Auden just wanted to do it with his brother and explained that to his friends, it was so cute.  

Then after running two errands we went to a playground until it was time to meet Daddy at a place for dinner.  At the playground Auden kept saying "follow me Grant!" Grant would say "okay!" Let's play this Grant!" He replied "Yeah!  Let's do it!" and they ran around for 30 minutes laughing and giggling together. 

After dinner and bath time routine, we read the Tickle Monster book and I tickled them silly which led to hiding under the covers and creating a fort.  Since it was a Friday night I let them play and have fun for a while.  Then when it came to be bedtime I asked if Grant wanted to do a sleepover in Auden's bed, he happily said "yes" even though Auden was apprehensive.  He conceded, I tucked them in and actually thought it may work.  But Auden sleeps with a really bright night light and in the end Grant decided he wanted his own bed- with the darkness, his music and where he can talk/sing himself to sleep which he normally does.  The cutest part was the turn of events that Auden actually became sad that Grant wanted to leave.  He got out of his bed and went to Grant's room and said he wanted to give Grant a goodnight kiss and tell him that if he needed anything he could come to him, like a book or to get Mommy for him. 

The whole afternoon just made me reflect on how Auden's relationship with Grant has been changing a lot lately.  As I mentioned before, we were fortunate that Grant looked up to Auden from the beginning, Grant was always the initiator of affection- has given random hugs, snuggles, and kisses to Auden ever since day one in our family,  Auden "accepted" all of it but he never initiated unless he was told to give his brother a hug, etc.  He always treated him nicely, played with him nicely but it was clear he still needed time to form that bond, that brotherly love.  After all, you can't just shove a 2 year old in a 4 year old's face for the first time and say- "here is your brother, now love him."   

No mater how big the couch, the step or lawn, Grant always sits down right next to Auden so that they are touching.  Auden would never move away, but now I'm catching Auden put his arm around Grant like I did in the picture below.  The bond and brotherly love is definitely there on both sides now and it's just a beautiful thing.

                           '              

On a less positive note, although Grant has been sleeping very well lately, unfortunately our latest issue is his growing desire to not want to go to daycare anymore.  He did great for so many months, but lately it's been a battle and the mornings have been pretty rough with tears/tantrums.  He says he really wants to go to Auden's school but he he doesn't start until June which is hard to explain.  So we are all counting down and hoping that really turns things around when they can go to school together this summer.  Some days are better than others, so it's inconsistent, hard and sad all at the same time.  Hopefully our peaceful mornings will return soon.