Summer is flying by so fast I haven't had time to update the blog in a while. We have been having an extremely active summer with Grant starting school (summer camp now) with his big brother, Auden did the mini-stars swim team in July, we've been gone almost every weekend with Keuka Lake trips, Chesapeake trip, Philly trip and a NJ beach trip to come. How lucky of us to have family and friends that invite us to come to their awesome places on the water! Pictures of all our summer fun to come later after all our trips:)
In July we celebrated the one year mark that our plane landed in Virginia and we started our life as a family of four in the United States. So this is normally the part where I say I can't believe Grant "came home" only one year ago. However, after joining an online group with a lot of transracial adult adoptees- I've learned that saying this is really adoptive-parent centric and most adult adoptees cringe when they hear it and do not like it. Grant had a home- the beautiful country of S. Korea and we brought him to our home in the United States. Korea will always be his homeland and we are proud of that (and he is too!). The more appropriate wording is that he "joined our family" in 2014. I am always learning and reading as much as I can about transracial adoptees- the things they think their parents got wrong, got right, wish they had growing up, etc. Sure, no one person's experience is the same but the truth is the harder stuff is yet to come. I want to do right by my son and know he can always talk to us no matter how mixed up his feelings are- we need to create the foundation for that now. The adoption process doesn't stop when he walked in the door, I'm learning and appreciating that it is a lifelong process. The "love is enough, don't talk about race" method used in the 80s has proved to be disastrous and we have the benefit of learning from those adult adoptees now to do better for kids of this generation. The more we educate ourselves, the better we can do for Grant and for our family. We have him in schools where he is never the only Asian student in his class, we chose a Korean pediatrician with our new insurance, we make sure we are eating Korean food either at home or at local restaurants, we have a great group of Korean adoption friends for fun playgroups and we talk about his birthparents and foster family- these are the things that are hopefully going to help him as he grows up and understands his self-identity.
Speaking of our little cutie, Grant overall had a pretty smooth transition to preschool (after the first week) especially thanks to Auden being there. How fortunate for us that they could overlap this summer before Auden goes off to Kindergarten. Auden continues to help Grant feel comfortable in new situations and the transition to preschool was probably the biggest example thus far. He plays with Grant on the playground, all of Auden's friends adore Grant and play with him as well. He is such a superstar big brother, especially when he knows his little brother needs him. My favorite thing to do after I drop them off on the playground is spying on them through the window. Grant is a little clingy as I say goodbye but then eventually runs off with Auden and Auden will start pushing him on the swing, etc. It makes my heart almost burst to see how much they love each other and both need each other. We knew we'd be giving Auden a brother when adopting Grant but we never knew how much he wanted one and how much he would love Grant. I dearly hope that they are reading this one day as adults and are still best friends. Watching their relationship grow this year has been nothing short of amazing.
Grant goes to Preschool Summer Camp!
Grant refused to do group swim lessons in May because he didn't like being in the pool with random people/teacher and me on the side. So I cancelled the lessons and hoped for the best this summer. In typical Grant fashion all he does is mimics big brother so he has made tremendous strides in his swimming ability just by going to our swim club a lot this summer. He's trying to do freestyle and even learned to come up for 1-2 breathes before needing our help. He is definitely doing awesome for a kid that wouldn't even put a toe in the water 13 months ago. So very proud!
Check out this "freestyle," he took a breathe and made it all the way to the wall!
Fun with Grandpop at their community pool!
Stay tuned for all of my big fish's accomplishments this summer in a separate post. It is so fun watching these boys learn and try new things!
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